literature

Oblivious Being

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K-Sajid's avatar
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Literature Text

I could lie awake all night,
All night watching you:
You sleep with a rock-like grasp
That grasps my eyes firmly;
Your firm cheeks reflect light-
Lights of the night changing,
Changing from green to gold-
Gold of the early morning.
First breath of the morning that I draw,
I draw for you till the last,
That lasts, it seems, a second too short.
A conachlonn is a bardic form of chain verse. Each line begins with the word that the last line ended with. However, there is a slight leeway in modern usage where it doesn't have to start with the exact same word. I think I did ok for a first attempt; comments are appreciated as always. This form is doomed to be boring if the repetition is done poorly, I hope I didn't fall for the obvious pitfalls.
Oh and, Happy Winter's Solstice everyone. I don't have a journal entry like everyone else. Only people who read my poem gets wishes from me this way ;)
© 2008 - 2024 K-Sajid
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cupids-trick's avatar
this reminds me of a song I like.
a little obscure, probably hard to find, but you should look it up if you get a chance.
There Will Be No Divorce, The Mountain Goats.